Ok, fine. I feel so wrong when you guys argue against my reasoning. 1500 cals a day for me. so, my latest   change in life, is, as maha predicted it, i want paul back. I feel dumb for breaking up with him. I want to try again. BUT, he also likes his ex gf, and hes looking for a more mature relationship (i.e., spending the night at each others houses on a regular basis, plus other  things im not able to do). she offers everything he wants in a relationship, and i offer my emotions, and my heart. so does he want someone who likes him a lot, or someone who can fulfill a long lasting relationship (seeing as they lasted 3 years) Knowing my luck, they'll get together and last another three. plus, i broke up with him. my chances are slim but at least im fighting for what i want. soooooo i wrote a poem about it today.

When I look at you, my heart seems to soar
I wonder excitedly what might be in store
you acknowledge me quick, soon on your way
but you have my heart, and thats where it stays.
a quick, "you look nice" goes straight to my head
I walk into class all flustered and red
I feel like a toddler all sheepish and shy
watching afar as you casually walk by
then I go into class and I pull out a pen
finally writing what I feel like again
I want to text you, pay attention to me!
I want you back NOW, why can't you see?
I know you like me, but why must I know?
that you'll always love her, wherever you go
I feel like im sick, rotting on the inside
but I can't tell you that, or how much ive cried
why must I wait, while you make up your mind
i'd try to convince you.. but the words I can't find
so at a moment like this I stand and I wait.
for you to decide and get your head straight
Its just that I want you to know
no matter how fast or slow you may go
that I dont want second best, im better than that.
I am not second fiddle, or a doormat
I don't mean to be mad, upset, or angry
I just want to know if you'll choose me
take this to heart when you make your choice
that you know what I want, and you've heard my voice.