| | So I'm pretty sure today was the worst day ever. I went to school, and I have some pretty challenging classes, so that worried me a little. I walked into my 6th hour class during 5th hour, so i was in the completely wrong place.
I think what sucked the most was volleyball. I went to practice, and worked my butt off to suck. I had the biggest off day. After working for 2 hours the coaches say we'll have a 5 minute talk before we leave. well 5 minutes turned into 45, and my dad only had like 5 minutes to spare to pick me up. He shows up 5 till 7, and waits till 7:30 before leaving to his plans. I can't believe he waited that long for me. So its like 7:40, and I call and talk to my dad whose FURIOUS, and wanted to yell at my coach, but I called a few other people, and no one answered, so I called my dad back and said I'd walk home. Its pouring rain outside, and im in like little booty volleyball shorts, and a white tee shirt walking home. Not like I timed that long 23 minutes that felt like an eternity. but I was so miserable I was choking on sniffles and tears to keep from crying. I don't know if I did cry, or if my face was soaked because of the rain. It sucked.
Now that im really unhappy, I want to blame everyone else and it be their fault, the coah for it being late, my dad, for not waiting, but mostly, its me. I know its my fault, but am quick to evade guilt. It can't be my fault, even if it was pure accident. So today, instead of making someone come get me, especially my dad, I walked home, and the rain was like my punishment for the inconvience i put on my dad. And to punish myself for not working hard enough in volleyball, and in life, I'm putting myself on a 500 calorie diet. so, no supper tonight, and tomorrow I can have breakfast (yogurt 170 cals) + lunch tomorrow(cup o noodles 300 cals + water), and maybe a salad for dinner, no dressing. That sounds like a good idea. And if it doesnt help me lose weight in a week or two, i'll cut down to 300 calories, and start eating nothing but things like celery and hard boiled eggs (negative cals) and apples, because they boost your energy.
In sums of it all, im punishing myself, but rewarding myself with a body i want. Im far to over weight for my bone structure and size. I have such a skinny frame, and It should show. thats all for now. |
| | Posted 9/6/2005 10:02 PM - 5 Views - 10 eProps - 6 comments
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